From the mouths of kids

"Mom, your car goes a lot faster than Daddy's."    Hmm, maybe I have a driving problem?

"Mommy, I miss-uh you today.  I cry at breakfast."  Oh, it makes me feels so sad that I have to be at work all day.  Then Mark tells me that the real reason he cried at breakfast was because he got into a fight with his sister at the table.  Oh well, it made me feel really special for a little while.

"One thing I liked about Germany, there were no mosquitos to bite you."

"Mommy, I no want you to work."  Yeah, me too!

Chicken Pox ??

Jiang Lei had red spots all over his body - we thought he had the chicken pox. Now we see they are bug bites, quite a phenomenon in our area. He is the only one who has them and they are getting better, probably because he hasn't been outside so much due to the rain. Read the article here.

Buying Toys

After cleaning out the basement and throwing away a lot of toys and toy pieces, it has gotten me thinking about the process of buying toys for the kids.  

Parents understand the age old dilemma "do I buy them what they are asking for or what I think they will play with"?  Having just thrown away some of the top toys on the list for the last two Christmases, it pains me to buy them the toys on their list which I can already tell won't be so exciting after Christmas Day is over.  Twirling Barbie will get old fast as that is all that she does.  Baby dolls are cute and yes, the baby can cry and pee, but if you never really play with dolls and none of your friends are playing with them, do you really think you will play with it because it cries and pees?  On the other hand, I have already been told when they didn't have a "great" Christmas because they didn't get "everything" on their list.

I love to shop for things that I know will make them happy, but I've also learned that there is that limit beyond which they don't really place a value on their toys because they assume they will just get a new one soon.  So I can't get them everything, even if we could afford it.

At least with the GameBoy and Leapster, I know they will continue to be used for a long time making me feel less guilty about buying a 6 year old their very own GameBoy (Mom, what year did you get your own GameBoy when you were growing up ???).

Usually I try to get them the top few things on their list (even if I know it will not get used) and a few things on my list.  I think that some level of realization that they don't get everything they want is healthy.  

Other parents, what do you think?

Reunion in Wildwood, NJ

Every year we have a reunion with our travel group from Nora's adoption in 1999. This trip we met in Wildwood, NJ. There was lots of beach time, pool time and playing with friends. We spent a lot of time on the beach enjoying the ocean breeze. We rode bikes on the boardwalk and did a few ride. Some of the girls have younger siblings and so there were kids for Ji Ji and Jiang Lei to play with as well.

Visiting Aunt Janet in Philadelphia

We visited Philadelphia for a few days and stayed with Aunt Janet. The kids got to see the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. Then we ate at Reading Market and went to the Science Museum to escape the heat.

Waiting on Citizenship

We received notice from the CIS stating that Jiang Lei wasn't eligible for automatic citizenship because we were not residents of the US when he entered the US for the first time. We were kind of expecting this.

Even though we were living outside of the US when he was adopted, we were moving back to the US when he entered the US for the first time so technically we were US residents and he should get his US citizenship automatically. I sent a letter back to the local CIS office with the N-600 and the $215 fee. I got a response back within a few weeks asking me to send a money order (I sent a personal check, woops!) and asking for passport photos. That sounded like a good sign. So we mailed all of that on July 10 and we are now waiting.

After we get his citizenship, we will readopt him in this state to change his legal name and get a local birth certificate. Then we can apply for his passport. Then we can get his citizenship papers changed to reflect his new name. We are hoping to get all of this done before we need to apply for his first passport as we don't want it issued in a different name.

Driving at the Correct Speed

One thing I miss about Germany is the non personal manner in which you could drive as fast as you want and later you would get a ticket in the mail - no delays on your trip, no public humiliation, no need to make up a story to tell the officer. Very impersonal (this is one of the few times that you will ever hear me say that I miss the impersonal nature of Germany).

Today I was pulled over by a cop as I was running errands during my lunch hour. I had dropped off a huge load of clothes and shoes at the Salvation Army - trying to do a good thing instead of just throwing them away! So as I am driving past I see the police car hidden toward the back of the driveway and I knew I was probably driving too fast (even in my Prius). I get pulled over and it is embarrassing and frightening and awful. I wanted to say, just mail me a ticket and get this over with !!

In the end I got a verbal warning and no ticket, probably because my driving record was impeccably clean (living outside the US for 9 years will do that). Getting a warning instead of a ticket is something that never happens through the mail in Germany.

Jiang Lei's 5th Birthday

Jiang Lei was having difficulty waiting for his 5th birthday to arrive. He kept telling me "Mommy, its not coming". We were on vacation so we celebrated early with the family. He got lots of great gifts. Now he keeps saying his birthday didn't come because he didn't get a Gameboy ( Ji Ji got one for her birthday). We keep explaining to him that he is too small but he doesn't like that answer.

Speech Therapy Report for the summer

Jiang Lei has finished his summer session of speech therapy which was 2 x per week for 4 weeks. We received a final report from the therapist and I am quoting :

"He has only been immersed in English for 5 months but has shown tremendous gains in his comprehension & expression of English grammar & vocabulary skills."

"Jiang Lei is very active & curious. He is eager to learn new things & to demonstrate what he has learned."

That sounds just like him and isn't it great? He really is doing well on his communication skills and we are very proud of him. We think the Kumon has really hepled with his vocabulary. Now if we can just get him to stop annoying his sisters !!!!

Cultural Snobs

Ok, its true, we are cultural snobs.

We went to a wine tasting tonight of Pinot Noir and the woman asked if we had ever been to Oregon to visit the vineyards and we told her no, we had been to Burgundy, France to visit the vineyards. We couldn't bring ourselves to pay $27 for an OK bottle of wine, when we know we could get a bottle that we like more for 10 Euros at the vineyard in Givry. Ok, so there would be expenses to export it, etc. - details!

Next we were lucky enough to have the neighbors watch the kids so that we could go out to dinner. We went to a neighborhood Japanese restaurant. They served a set meal and as soon as the salad with thousand island dressing was served, we knew we were in trouble. Mark said, watch them not even have Miso soup and give us chicken noodle or something. We had a good laugh over that one. Well, next they served us chicken soup, I couldn't believe it. And then came the teppanyaki meal which they cook at your table. The first course of fried rice didn't taste like rice at all, it was sweet! We complained and got some white rice instead. Next came the sweet fried vegetables followed by Mark's sweet steak and the sweet bean sprouts. We laughed but it wasn't really funny. At the end someone came over to ask how we liked it and we told them it didn't really taste like the food in Japan. They were actually very straight forward and told us they need to cater to American tastes because Americans don't like the way Japanese food tastes! They told us next time when we come back, tell them that we don't want the Americanized version and they will give us a more Japanese meal.

Hmmm, let's see......we spent $100 on a meal which we didn't like, and they think we should come back and spend another $100 to see if maybe we would like this version of food better ???? Don't think so. Mark was hinting quite strongly that maybe they could give us a coupon or something toward this meal which would incent us to come back and try the food again, but they wouldn't go for it. So, another restaurant off of our list for good!

Family Photo

Just had our yearly family photos taken. Here are the kids - growing like weeds!

5 month Progress Report

Jiang Lei has been in our family for 5 months. Reading adoption blogs I always hear people say that “it feels as if he has always been there” and that is kind or true for us. He is definitely part of the family and we could never go back to life before him.

The girls really love having him around, though at times it is a love / hate relationship. Nora likes to take care of him and baby him. Ji Ji likes to play with him and boss him around. He is always playing with one girl in a manner which excludes the other. Occasionally the girls have gotten smart and gone off to play by themselves without him at which point he is shocked and he says they are being mean.

He is always on guard to make sure that he gets his fair share of whatever is given out and he will tell us when the girls have something that he doesn’t. After 5 months of getting stuff, even small stuff that the girls don’t want anymore, I would say that he is a little less obsessed about his ownership of things. This week he actually cleaned out the floor of his closet which is where he was keeping all of the junk that his sisters didn’t want anymore. The fact that he agreed to put it down in the basement is a huge step. He feels comfortable that it will be there for him and that he will continue to get more stuff.

He teases the girls all of the time, just trying to get a reaction out of them. Usually they go running to Dad to report on what Jiang Lei is doing.

He will get sent to the Naught Mat (time out) maybe twice per week. I think that sometimes he doesn’t understand exactly what he did wrong and that is frustrating to him. He sees other kids doing things like hitting but he gets punished for it. And he is always fighting for his place on the tire swing, taking stuff out of other’s hands because it belongs to him and just sticking up for himself – and somehow he gets punished for it.

He has been going to speech therapy for 30 minutes, two times per week through our school system. Also he is doing Kumon reading prep with Dad (the other girls do Kumon) and he is increasing his vocabulary as he learns new words each week. Is is also teaching him good homework habits as he needs to get his Kumon done every day (he likes having his own homework like the girls). He communicates very well and we usually can understand what he is talking about.

Mommy is practicing counting objects with him and he can count things up to 10. I am also helping him to learn the ABC song. Ji Ji is teaching him to spell his name. Daddy is practicing shapes and colors with him, which he is has not been quick to pick up.

When he first joined our family, his gross motor skills and coordination were not very good. He fell over a lot when outside playing with the kids. He has been taking gymnastics classes for a few months. That plus the playset that we have in the backyard has really improved his coordination as each day he climbs to the top, does the monkey bars with help, walks up the slide and plays on the swings. Also keeping up with his sisters and their friends requires him to run around the neighborhood. I have to say that he is still a very slow runner…..

Our friends are moving to Shanghai for 1 year and they have invited us to visit them. We are thinking about going in November but I am wondering how strange it will be for Jiang Lei if he goes back to China within the same year that he was adopted – will he revert to old behaviors or will he stick by the family and refuse to speak Mandarin?

One good thing from this past year is that the girls are using more Mandarin and they have gotten comfortable with it. They only know some baby words that we have been using with Jiang Lei but they aren’t shy about using it. Will be anxious to see if they will speak more while in China. Because they saw the usefulness of the language with Jiang Lei, they may be more receptive to taking lessons again.

We will be starting the 6 month report for China on his progress. This past 6 months has been so eventful but the time as gone so fast! It seems like only yesterday that we were in Harbin with this wild boy. July 4th we went to the community fireworks and he was dancing around watching them – he loved it!

Blog about living in Shanghai

Our friends are going to Shanghai - check out their new blog!

Baseball Practice

Jiang Lei likes baseball practive because he plays with other kids and he gets a treat at the end. He isn't really interested in actually playing the game. (1) Here he is playing his fielder position (he is usually laying down on the grass). (2) He is getting instructions in batting - very patient coach. (3) Here he is on 2nd base (sitting down).

Ji Ji is also playing ball and she has really loved it. Again she likes running the bases and chasing balls. Here she is (1) batting and (2) practing her fielding.

Summer

Its summer vacation and the kids are having fun! Every night there is some different configuration of sleeping in one or the other's room. They don't always get to sleep early but they are definately enjoying it.


















It must be summer because Daddy is golfing at a beautiful spot along the lake.


















Friends are over to visit and go to the amusement park together. They put on a dress up show for the parents.


















Here is Ji Ji inline skating on the sidewalk in front of our house. And some of the neighborhood kids on the playset in our backyard. Today we set up the inflatable pool in the yard and so the kids will play there all summer. Our back yard is a kid magnet.

Cute kid stories

I guess we are always telling Jiang Lei that he pours too much juice or he puts too much salt on his food. Yesterday when I asked him how much rice he wanted he said "Mommy, I want too much."

Nora and Ji Ji have been bugging us to take them to a restaurant called "Dog and Suds". Last night in the car, Ji Ji asked if we could go to "Dog and Stein's" and then Nora corrected her as she said the restaurant was called "Dog and Studs".

The girls kept asking why Mom and Dad were laughing .....

Party House and The Wiggles

We are the party house! Every weekend we have been having people over to see the house, many to repay them for their generousity when we have come to town over the last 9 years. It has been a lot of fun and and an excellent excuse for not getting too much done! We had the Grandparents over last weekend and here they are with the kids.























The Wiggles were at our local amusement park and though I was hesitant to face the crowds, we went to see them. It wasn't bad at all. We didn't wait in any lines and we were very close. First they drove through the park in their car and then they put on a show.


















The show was great. They were really hamming it up and you could tell they were having fun with it. Here is Jeff sleeping. Jiang Lei doesn't know the Wiggles but he knows to yell "Wake Up Jeff" and he was able to do it with the crowd often through the show and he loved it! I'm not too sure about that new Wiggle, Jeff had gray hair and Murray looked old (we remember them best 6 years ago), but it was still fun for us and for the kids.


















Ji Ji and Jiang Lei went down to the front with all of the kids to get a closer look. You can see them on the right of the camera. Ji Ji is watching the show and Jiang Lei is in the red shirt.


















JL update
This weekend, Jiang Lei replied "o my gosh" to something I said and I just froze. I was surprised he was using that expression and using it correctly. Now that he got a reaction out of me he is using it all of the time. The next day he told me something was "upside down" and I said where did you learn that word? He has been doing Kumon reading with Mark (looking at pictures and repeating the words) and that was one of his words last week. His english is progressing fast, need to work on his pronounciation. He has been with us 4 months.

Making Progress in Every Way

We are doing good and trying to get our lives/home/priorities in order. It has been busy but I think we are making some progress!

Jiang Lei is starting to talk in some sentences (Mommy, I want that one!). He went to the local school for several different evaluations and at first there were some issues because they didn't have anyone there who spoke Mandarin. Finally the conclusion was what we wanted, he will get 2 weeks of Speech Therapy during the summer and then in the fall he will have 1/2 day Speech Therapy and 1/2 day Kindergarten with 30 minutes of ESL instruction during his Kindergarten class each day. This was a great result for us because at first they were talking about the Special Ed track.

The kids still fight and Jiang Lei will still push or kick, though not very hard, just enough to make his point. The 3 kids will often pair up into 2 v 1 which is difficult for the one on the outside.

Again, here are photos from several weeks as I haven't gotten back in the groove of regular posting (too much to do here on Sundays).

Here are some photos from the kids at gymnastics class. They are all very excited to go to class and all are making progress. Jiang Lei is developing his gross motor skills and coordination which he really needs. Ji Ji is able to do some tumbling like her sister and Nora keeps getting better at her coordination and upper body strength.



















Ji Ji had her birthday and she got her Game Boy which she has been talking about for almost one year.


















Mother's Day is always fun. Nora and Ji Ji made some presents at school and Jiang Lei gave me some pearl jewelry (someone put a bug in Daddy's ear that he could take care of all future birthdays and Mother's Days while in Shanghai for not too much money).


















The girls used to watch Dancing on Ice on TV (UK reality show with stars in an ice skating competition) and here they are being judges. Mark and I had to dance with Jiang Lei and they judged us (we both won).


















Nora had her school performance and unfortunately we were very far away. She sang while a few others acted on stage. Again the group is very large compared to her school in Germany. She is in the front row with the pink shirt on.


















We met some friends at the local amusement park and the kids loved the rides, especially the kids roller coaster. In the roller coaster photo, you can see Mark's blue shirt and raised arm. He is sitting with Jiang Lei and the girls are sitting behind him.






























Sue tagged me but I am not very good at telling personal things about myself so I will need to think about this one for a while before responding.