End of Summer photos

Here are some more photos from the end of summer! We took the kids apple picking.





Here is Ji Ji being funny, as usual!























Next we have the soccer pictures. Here is Jiang Lei, mostly socializing. And here is Ji Ji in her usual position. Though I will say that both kids got much better toward the end of the season. And then here are Jiang Lei and Nora trying to play their Leapsters on the sidelines but they couldn't see the LCD screen because of the bright sun so they are trying to compensate.

Jiang Lei's First Evaluation at Shriner's Hospital

Here is a recap of our day with the cleft team at Shriners. If anyone had any questions, I'd be happy to answer them. We arrived before 8am and were done around 3pm.

Jiang Lei spent quite a bit of time during each appointment playing with the chairs which he made go up, down, etc. He really gave them a stress test.

Jiang Lei started with a hearing test. The first test proved that he has a hearing loss. He later met with an ENT who confirmed that he has a "Moderate" hearing loss at all pitch levels. This should be corrected by getting tubes to drain the fluid. We could have it done at the hospital but I think it would be better for us to get them done locally so that we can establish a relationship with an ENT here in the area.

We met with the speech therapist who thought that his speech was doing pretty well. He has an occasional breath escape during speech but that will be monitored to ensure that it doesn't get any worse. It is not significant enough to do anything about at this time (surgery wise).

We met with a psychologist who talked about his integration into the family and some behavioral issues. She gave us some articles to read to help with options for discipline at home.

We met with the surgical team twice. His surgeries done in China were actually pretty good. There is still an opening from the gap in his mouth through to his nose which will need to be repaired with a bone graft. They recommend that we don't do anything until he is about 8 years old when his baby teeth have fallen out and his adult teeth are about to come in. Then they will need to graft some bone from his hip into his jaw to seal up that area and to allow support for his adult teeth. He will also need to work with an orthodontist in advance to open up his jaw to allow this to happen.

We met with a dentist who noted that his teeth were very healthy. He is missing one baby tooth in the place where the gap is. Interestingly, he has all of his adult teeth growing so if they get the bone graft in place in time, his adult tooth there may be able to drop down normally. If it doesn't, then we will need to consider a dental implant or a bridge.

We met with a social worker who wanted to ensure that we could afford/manage the expenses of transportation and other procedures that he may need in the future - amazing !

At the end we met with the entire team who said that we need to continue what we are doing and they would like to see him back on a regular basis to monitor his progress. We will go back in 9 months. Again, it was an amazing experience. They will be mailing a full report to us within 1 1/2 months.

Our main reason for requesting an appointment at Shriners was to find out if there was anything that we should be doing that we are not, to ensure that Jiang Lei is getting the best possible care. We are now "part of the family" and his development will continue to be monitored by the team which certainly makes us feel more comfortable.

Self Portraits - Jiang Lei visiting Doctor
also known as Entertaining Child With Digital Camera

Shriner's organization

Yesterday, Jiang Lei and I spent the full day at the Shriners Hospital in Chicago,  They have a team which specializes in helping children with Cleft Palate / Cleft Lip.  It was an incredibly humbling experience.

There were about 9 families there all day to see the Cleft team, each had a child with a cleft.  As we talked in the waiting room, most had traveled from much further away to be there such as Alabama, Utah, Kansas City, etc.  And they will continue to come in for care and treatment over the course of their child's development.  There was even a 4 month old baby there to have his cleft repaired for the first time.  We felt very luck to live so close and to have the opportunity to receive these services - all at no cost to the families!  I remain amazed by the experience and I have acquired a new found respect for the work that those men in the funny red hats do for children.  I will definitely become an advocate for their organization and I will be telling everyone I meet what great work they are doing for children.
 
While we were there, we saw lots of older gentlemen who were decked out in their special Shriner jackets and with their red hats with the tassel and I was wondering what they were doing there for the day - at first I thought they came in for a free lunch?  It turns out they were all drivers!  If a family in the Midwest needs to come to Shriners for an appointment, their local shrine organization can provide the transportation to keep the costs low.  These gentlemen, most of whom looked to be retirement age, get up at the crack of dawn and drive the family to Chicago.  Then they catch some sleep at the Hospital while the families have their appointments.  At the end of the day, they drive them back home.  What an incredibly selfless act that these people do on a consistent basis.  I am in awe of these people.  It certainly makes what I do every day seem rather meaningless.

The Cats

Here is Buckwheat Zydeco. She spends most of her time outside and comes in to eat, take cat naps and let Mom & Dad occassionally pet her. She will watch TV on Dad's lap. She does not spend time with the kids. She misses her brother in Germany.


















This is Lucky. He is 5 months old and he is very friendly. The kids can pick him up and carry him around and he loves it. Nora likes to put him in the doll stroller and he will sit there and let her push him around. Lucky is a house cat and follows us room to room. Yesterday the kids were taking a bath and he was meowing to be let into the bathroom. Then he was walking around the edge of the bathtub and trying to get a drink when - woops - he slipped into the tub. The sides were too high and he couldn't get any traction so he couldn't get himself out. I had to come and get him out. Funny - except this was the second time that he has fallen into the tub with the kids. Here he is all wet and trying to dry himself.



















Everytime that Zydeco is in the house, Lucky has to be near her (both cats are fixed). Zydie doesn't like it and growls, but Lucky still follows her around, staying slightly out of the way.

Random thoughts

Why does a 6 year old's soccer game need to be so competitive?  Is it really necessary at 6 years of age, that the better kids play the entire game and the weaker kids sit most of the game?  Shouldn't the point be to encourage the kids to have fun and understand the concept of team sports?

We have started the HOW I ACT program at home, which Ji Ji uses in her class.  The kids each get a "shout" mark for good behavior (worth 2 points) and they get one of the letters for bad behavior (worth -1 point), ex. H is for "hearing", not listening to the parents when they ask you to do something.  At the end the points will be worth a treat.

Family Chinese
The kids all started Chinese school for one hour per week and they have gone 2 weeks now.  After the first week we moved Jiang Lei from the bilingual class to the all Chinese class.  This school is very close to our house and goes all year long on Sunday afternoon.  Mark is taking Beginning Chinese at the local university for credit.  I hope they all learn something before our trip to Shanghai next Spring!  I will probably take the 6 week Chinese evening class, not for credit.  I hope they teach shopping phrases.

Kid Update
Nora really wants to do a back handspring.  She talks about it all of the time.  She goes to gymnastics twice per week so I told her maybe by the end of the year.  Everyday is measured by how many more days until she can do a back handspring.

Ji Ji likes school but she says that it is too easy now, she knows everything already (years of Kumon math and reading).  She likes to participate in class.

We haven't heard anything about Jiang Lei's first 2 weeks of school, though we haven't gotten any notes sent home so that is good as well.  He likes taking the bus, that is about all I can get him to tell me.

First Day of School

Jiang Lei had his first day of school, ever, on Wednesday. Well, actually his first half day. He had his new back pack and his bag of supplies for the year.





















It wasn't a great start as the bus didn't show up - they had changed the time and didn't let us know. When he came home he didn't talk about school too much, except to say that he didn't like it and he didn't have any friends there. He did tell us that he didn't hit anyone at school - he was very proud. And he wouldn't let Dad look at his school folder because his teacher told the class they should bring it home and give it to their mothers.

Day two - he likes it! They played some Monkey, Monkey game which he liked and he could partially recite when he got home. Plus he has a friend but he doesn't know his name. And he got to ride the bus home.

The girls started last Wednesday and so they have had one week back at school. My gosh, look at Nora - when did she turn into a teenager? And Ji Ji's hair has gotten so long. All of the sudden it has hit me - they are really growing up fast!

They are still excited about the new school year and both girls are getting homework. Ji Ji is now in the "big school" with Nora.

We are still getting used to being back in the US and it seems odd to me that the kids need to bring in so many of their own school supplies. When I was in school they provided scissors and glue, not to mention soap and water to clean up after projects. Now each child needs to bring in their own scissors, glue, kleenex, wet wipes, etc. Holy cow! And notice of the first fund raising project has already reached home. Here we go for another 12 years!

From the mouths of kids

"Mom, your car goes a lot faster than Daddy's."    Hmm, maybe I have a driving problem?

"Mommy, I miss-uh you today.  I cry at breakfast."  Oh, it makes me feels so sad that I have to be at work all day.  Then Mark tells me that the real reason he cried at breakfast was because he got into a fight with his sister at the table.  Oh well, it made me feel really special for a little while.

"One thing I liked about Germany, there were no mosquitos to bite you."

"Mommy, I no want you to work."  Yeah, me too!

Chicken Pox ??

Jiang Lei had red spots all over his body - we thought he had the chicken pox. Now we see they are bug bites, quite a phenomenon in our area. He is the only one who has them and they are getting better, probably because he hasn't been outside so much due to the rain. Read the article here.

Buying Toys

After cleaning out the basement and throwing away a lot of toys and toy pieces, it has gotten me thinking about the process of buying toys for the kids.  

Parents understand the age old dilemma "do I buy them what they are asking for or what I think they will play with"?  Having just thrown away some of the top toys on the list for the last two Christmases, it pains me to buy them the toys on their list which I can already tell won't be so exciting after Christmas Day is over.  Twirling Barbie will get old fast as that is all that she does.  Baby dolls are cute and yes, the baby can cry and pee, but if you never really play with dolls and none of your friends are playing with them, do you really think you will play with it because it cries and pees?  On the other hand, I have already been told when they didn't have a "great" Christmas because they didn't get "everything" on their list.

I love to shop for things that I know will make them happy, but I've also learned that there is that limit beyond which they don't really place a value on their toys because they assume they will just get a new one soon.  So I can't get them everything, even if we could afford it.

At least with the GameBoy and Leapster, I know they will continue to be used for a long time making me feel less guilty about buying a 6 year old their very own GameBoy (Mom, what year did you get your own GameBoy when you were growing up ???).

Usually I try to get them the top few things on their list (even if I know it will not get used) and a few things on my list.  I think that some level of realization that they don't get everything they want is healthy.  

Other parents, what do you think?

Reunion in Wildwood, NJ

Every year we have a reunion with our travel group from Nora's adoption in 1999. This trip we met in Wildwood, NJ. There was lots of beach time, pool time and playing with friends. We spent a lot of time on the beach enjoying the ocean breeze. We rode bikes on the boardwalk and did a few ride. Some of the girls have younger siblings and so there were kids for Ji Ji and Jiang Lei to play with as well.

Visiting Aunt Janet in Philadelphia

We visited Philadelphia for a few days and stayed with Aunt Janet. The kids got to see the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. Then we ate at Reading Market and went to the Science Museum to escape the heat.

Waiting on Citizenship

We received notice from the CIS stating that Jiang Lei wasn't eligible for automatic citizenship because we were not residents of the US when he entered the US for the first time. We were kind of expecting this.

Even though we were living outside of the US when he was adopted, we were moving back to the US when he entered the US for the first time so technically we were US residents and he should get his US citizenship automatically. I sent a letter back to the local CIS office with the N-600 and the $215 fee. I got a response back within a few weeks asking me to send a money order (I sent a personal check, woops!) and asking for passport photos. That sounded like a good sign. So we mailed all of that on July 10 and we are now waiting.

After we get his citizenship, we will readopt him in this state to change his legal name and get a local birth certificate. Then we can apply for his passport. Then we can get his citizenship papers changed to reflect his new name. We are hoping to get all of this done before we need to apply for his first passport as we don't want it issued in a different name.

Driving at the Correct Speed

One thing I miss about Germany is the non personal manner in which you could drive as fast as you want and later you would get a ticket in the mail - no delays on your trip, no public humiliation, no need to make up a story to tell the officer. Very impersonal (this is one of the few times that you will ever hear me say that I miss the impersonal nature of Germany).

Today I was pulled over by a cop as I was running errands during my lunch hour. I had dropped off a huge load of clothes and shoes at the Salvation Army - trying to do a good thing instead of just throwing them away! So as I am driving past I see the police car hidden toward the back of the driveway and I knew I was probably driving too fast (even in my Prius). I get pulled over and it is embarrassing and frightening and awful. I wanted to say, just mail me a ticket and get this over with !!

In the end I got a verbal warning and no ticket, probably because my driving record was impeccably clean (living outside the US for 9 years will do that). Getting a warning instead of a ticket is something that never happens through the mail in Germany.

Jiang Lei's 5th Birthday

Jiang Lei was having difficulty waiting for his 5th birthday to arrive. He kept telling me "Mommy, its not coming". We were on vacation so we celebrated early with the family. He got lots of great gifts. Now he keeps saying his birthday didn't come because he didn't get a Gameboy ( Ji Ji got one for her birthday). We keep explaining to him that he is too small but he doesn't like that answer.

Speech Therapy Report for the summer

Jiang Lei has finished his summer session of speech therapy which was 2 x per week for 4 weeks. We received a final report from the therapist and I am quoting :

"He has only been immersed in English for 5 months but has shown tremendous gains in his comprehension & expression of English grammar & vocabulary skills."

"Jiang Lei is very active & curious. He is eager to learn new things & to demonstrate what he has learned."

That sounds just like him and isn't it great? He really is doing well on his communication skills and we are very proud of him. We think the Kumon has really hepled with his vocabulary. Now if we can just get him to stop annoying his sisters !!!!

Cultural Snobs

Ok, its true, we are cultural snobs.

We went to a wine tasting tonight of Pinot Noir and the woman asked if we had ever been to Oregon to visit the vineyards and we told her no, we had been to Burgundy, France to visit the vineyards. We couldn't bring ourselves to pay $27 for an OK bottle of wine, when we know we could get a bottle that we like more for 10 Euros at the vineyard in Givry. Ok, so there would be expenses to export it, etc. - details!

Next we were lucky enough to have the neighbors watch the kids so that we could go out to dinner. We went to a neighborhood Japanese restaurant. They served a set meal and as soon as the salad with thousand island dressing was served, we knew we were in trouble. Mark said, watch them not even have Miso soup and give us chicken noodle or something. We had a good laugh over that one. Well, next they served us chicken soup, I couldn't believe it. And then came the teppanyaki meal which they cook at your table. The first course of fried rice didn't taste like rice at all, it was sweet! We complained and got some white rice instead. Next came the sweet fried vegetables followed by Mark's sweet steak and the sweet bean sprouts. We laughed but it wasn't really funny. At the end someone came over to ask how we liked it and we told them it didn't really taste like the food in Japan. They were actually very straight forward and told us they need to cater to American tastes because Americans don't like the way Japanese food tastes! They told us next time when we come back, tell them that we don't want the Americanized version and they will give us a more Japanese meal.

Hmmm, let's see......we spent $100 on a meal which we didn't like, and they think we should come back and spend another $100 to see if maybe we would like this version of food better ???? Don't think so. Mark was hinting quite strongly that maybe they could give us a coupon or something toward this meal which would incent us to come back and try the food again, but they wouldn't go for it. So, another restaurant off of our list for good!

Family Photo

Just had our yearly family photos taken. Here are the kids - growing like weeds!

5 month Progress Report

Jiang Lei has been in our family for 5 months. Reading adoption blogs I always hear people say that “it feels as if he has always been there” and that is kind or true for us. He is definitely part of the family and we could never go back to life before him.

The girls really love having him around, though at times it is a love / hate relationship. Nora likes to take care of him and baby him. Ji Ji likes to play with him and boss him around. He is always playing with one girl in a manner which excludes the other. Occasionally the girls have gotten smart and gone off to play by themselves without him at which point he is shocked and he says they are being mean.

He is always on guard to make sure that he gets his fair share of whatever is given out and he will tell us when the girls have something that he doesn’t. After 5 months of getting stuff, even small stuff that the girls don’t want anymore, I would say that he is a little less obsessed about his ownership of things. This week he actually cleaned out the floor of his closet which is where he was keeping all of the junk that his sisters didn’t want anymore. The fact that he agreed to put it down in the basement is a huge step. He feels comfortable that it will be there for him and that he will continue to get more stuff.

He teases the girls all of the time, just trying to get a reaction out of them. Usually they go running to Dad to report on what Jiang Lei is doing.

He will get sent to the Naught Mat (time out) maybe twice per week. I think that sometimes he doesn’t understand exactly what he did wrong and that is frustrating to him. He sees other kids doing things like hitting but he gets punished for it. And he is always fighting for his place on the tire swing, taking stuff out of other’s hands because it belongs to him and just sticking up for himself – and somehow he gets punished for it.

He has been going to speech therapy for 30 minutes, two times per week through our school system. Also he is doing Kumon reading prep with Dad (the other girls do Kumon) and he is increasing his vocabulary as he learns new words each week. Is is also teaching him good homework habits as he needs to get his Kumon done every day (he likes having his own homework like the girls). He communicates very well and we usually can understand what he is talking about.

Mommy is practicing counting objects with him and he can count things up to 10. I am also helping him to learn the ABC song. Ji Ji is teaching him to spell his name. Daddy is practicing shapes and colors with him, which he is has not been quick to pick up.

When he first joined our family, his gross motor skills and coordination were not very good. He fell over a lot when outside playing with the kids. He has been taking gymnastics classes for a few months. That plus the playset that we have in the backyard has really improved his coordination as each day he climbs to the top, does the monkey bars with help, walks up the slide and plays on the swings. Also keeping up with his sisters and their friends requires him to run around the neighborhood. I have to say that he is still a very slow runner…..

Our friends are moving to Shanghai for 1 year and they have invited us to visit them. We are thinking about going in November but I am wondering how strange it will be for Jiang Lei if he goes back to China within the same year that he was adopted – will he revert to old behaviors or will he stick by the family and refuse to speak Mandarin?

One good thing from this past year is that the girls are using more Mandarin and they have gotten comfortable with it. They only know some baby words that we have been using with Jiang Lei but they aren’t shy about using it. Will be anxious to see if they will speak more while in China. Because they saw the usefulness of the language with Jiang Lei, they may be more receptive to taking lessons again.

We will be starting the 6 month report for China on his progress. This past 6 months has been so eventful but the time as gone so fast! It seems like only yesterday that we were in Harbin with this wild boy. July 4th we went to the community fireworks and he was dancing around watching them – he loved it!

Blog about living in Shanghai

Our friends are going to Shanghai - check out their new blog!